(Trigger Warning: this post contains references to rape) (Also, it’s spoiler-y)
This week’s question is for the Outlander book readers.
I am a rape survivor. I was raped twice when I was in my 20’s. The second time was a gang rape. For a very long time I was a victim, not a survivor. I couldn’t leave the house for about a year and then when I finally did, I’d have panic attacks if a man looked at me or stood too close.
For several years I was broken. Then I found Outlander. I could barely get through what happens to Jamie at Wentworth. (I have no idea how I’m going to watch that) But I read it. Every word. I felt for Jamie. Knew his pain. Understood it. I knew why he wanted to die. It made me cry, for him and for me. And then, something happened. Claire helped Jamie fight his demons. They fought, and they won. They won.
That book motivated me to survive. To live and not let the men who raped me have power over me for another second. Now, I’m not saying that I finished that book and was all better. I’m almost 50 and I’m not all better. I still have the occasional panic attack (Christian Kane songs help with those, specifically Still Comin’ Down and Different Kind of Knight) but that book helped me see that you can win. As bad as what happened to me was (and it was very bad) Diana (by way of Jamie) seemed to understand and speak directly to the place inside me that was closed off. All the ugliness and pain that was locked up in there, the stuff I was afraid would kill me if I let it loose, came flooding out.
I fought. I won. And it was thanks to Diana and Jamie.
So this week’s question is: How has Outlander touched your life? Did it help you through a troubled time? Help you find your soulmate? Motivate YOU to write? What is it about this book that has kept you with it all these years?