The One Where I Where I Was Broken

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I knew, going in that this episode was going to be very rough and difficult to watch. I knew it was going to be brutal and I had been attempting to armor myself all week. It turned that Blackjack’s ‘I will break you’ was my undoing. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?


We begin where ‘Rent’ left off and I am feeling the same way, ‘answer the damn question Claire, don’t keep the man waiting’. I was a nervous wreck, scared of the outcome and I was sitting in my 21st century home, completely safe and sound from the likes of Dougal MacKenzie and Lt.Cutie Pie…errr Lt.Jeremy Foster, that is. As we recall, from the last episode,Foster made quite the impression on the audience. This fresh-faced actor can certainly hold his own when up against such talent as Graham Mctavish and Tobias Menzies. I may be alone in this but I nominate him to play Lord John Grey when the time comes for that role to be cast. I think he is quite up that task. I don’t expect my nomination will hold any weight with the powers that be but I did want to get it out there. Either way, Tom Brittney is going places! I digress, on to the garrison!

Above Gif credit: jvmiefraser Tumbrl


Once we arrive at the Garrison, Claire is greeted by the most excited, annoying, aristocratic Englishman I have ever come across. If he could bottle his arrogance and sell it down at the local village, he would make a fortune because that is how full of himself he is.

Gif Credit: theheirsofdurin tumblr

I was in tense mode from the moment they entered the garrison and did not breathe properly until they left the place. Claire appears to be quite comfortable and at ease, now that it appears she will be taken to Inverness and back to the stones. I loved the exchanges between the arrogant git, Dougal, and Claire.

I thought to myself, who does this entitled arse think he is!!? Buddy, you put your britches on one leg at a time, same as Dougal or any other man! Oh wait, he wears a kilt and is more of a man than you will ever be. Anyhow, everything appears to be going well for Claire until BJR enters the formal setting. You could literally feel the tension in the room, instantly and so thick you could cut it with a knife (if such a thing were possible).


Jack, you never go back! Tobias Menzies is so utterly frightening in this episode that you forget it is just a television show and he is only playing a part. From the start of his twenty plus minute conversation with Claire all the way to the heartstopping end, I felt that I was not breathing properly. The way he talked about the flogging of Jamie, as if it were an intimate moment they had shared together was so creepy.

You would think having read the book would leave a fan prepared for that flogging and the presence of Jamie’s father but no you are not prepared at all. I cried so hard, my face was stained with my tears. I was Claire in that moment and felt every bit of it. I know the effects of the flogging was CGI but it looked and felt real to me. Those were some very intense scenes and had to be tiring for all involved. I am on a Emmy kick in regards to this show and have predicted/called that it will receive some major nominations and wins! Sam Heughan will be among those many times over. He is beyond brilliant with even the simplest lines! I am calling for a WIN!

Blackjack explaining how it was a masterpiece they had created as a team, gave me the most absolute feels and chills. I have never encountered a ghost but I imagine this is how it would feel. He manages to complete a degree 360 degree turn in the span of a few seconds, hoping and even acting like he wants redemption. You are taken in and you almost believe him because you want to, to be honest. I would like to think that everyone can find redemption but not in this case. Claire wants to believe it as well and with tears in her eyes, accepts his hand and he punches her in the stomach for her trouble.

Caitriona and Tobias are extremely powerful and play well off each other, during this whole scene and the viewer is sucked in, no matter how horrible the whole session is, it is riveting! If these two do not win an Emmy (as well) for this whole scene alone, I will be shocked! I felt sorry for the poor soldier he ordered to kick Claire.


Dougal and I (much like the book) got off to a bit off a rocky start but he is growing on me. He walked in that room like a boss and saved Claire from further kicks God knows where. Graham McTavish owns this role and plays him to perfection. Ye won’t be telling him what to do on MacKenzie land with someone he is protecting which in turn, saves his own arse to boot. Nevertheless,Claire is subject to English rule (since she is English) and he has orders to bring her back. Dinna Fash, he has a plan. I predict another Emmy nod and win!


Dougal, who has been speaking with Ned (before the incident with BJR) and he does not have to turn Claire over if she is a Scot now. As much as he would like to ‘grind her corn’ it will be Jamie she marries, not him!

Jamie is all for it because what kind of friend would he be if he left her in the hands of BJR!!? We think (and know) there is more to it than that! He does not mind that she is not a virgin so long in that she does not mind that he is.

Gif Source: Brigantes Tumblr

So we leave off with Claire grabbing a bottle so it is to be presumed that she plans on getting nice and sloshed! This Saturday night is the wedding book fans have all been waiting for. I hope non-book fans are looking forward to it as well. This post took me longer than usual because my mom was in the hospital and it took me a bit to gather my thoughts and my bearings. I am her caregiver and I know you understand,she comes first!

Until next week’s WEDDING recap, see you DREAMERS and sound off below!


About Nymerias

I am an avid book reader and when I am not writing for these2 two (now three) blogs that is what I am doing. I love Game of Thrones, Supernatural,Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Outlander, Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead and many other shows. I am also a major hockey fan, especially my Detroit Red Wings! I also enjoy classic books and legal thrillers.
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5 Responses to The One Where I Where I Was Broken

  1. snarkland78 says:

    You summed up my response with simply just your title. I was broken… but I was redeemed by the ending. I literally hid my eyes and cried into my hands as Jamie was beaten. I peeked every so often and when I would see the raw sadism in BJR’s eyes I would cry harder. I wish I had four hands so I could cover up the awful sounds of the whip. It was Jamie’s response to BJR’s question, about him freezing before he was done (right?? I don’t remember offhand TBH), that helped because I knew that if Jamie, the proud Highlander, could be strong and get through it, so could I. It didn’t mean that I could stomach it though.

    Somebody mentioned some place else about how they liked that it was BJR who described Jamie’s beating, a variation from the source material. And I totally agree. The great thing about the TV episode/movie is that we can SEE what the book takes words to try to describe. The emotions on BJR’s face showed how much he truly began to love what he was doing… and maybe, perhaps, fall in love with Jamie. What a foreshadowing of events to come which makes me shudder with disgust. However, neither of the actors could have done their jobs better… and no other actors could’ve done it better than the two of them.

    Of course, like I said, we got some redemption in the end. To see what Jamie goes through in the beginning… then his sheer embarrassment when having to deal with his (lack of) sexual history with a woman he so clearly adored was such a turn that I was so proud of Sam. Sam has clearly grown into Jamie and, like I said, nobody else could be Jamie. Sam IS Jamie. While this is wonderful, I sure hope it opens doors for him, and not typecasts him. 🙂

    Now… holding breath for The Wedding… and the Wedding NIGHT!!

    GREAT review Ny. Hope your Mom’s doing better. 🙂



    • Nymerias says:

      Thank you! That was Damn near a blog post itself! 😉 I loved the change up with BJR telling the story of the flogging. We got to see into his mind.

      Jamie said I’m afraid I’ll freeze to death afore you’re done talking. He did not even have to say a word really because you felt everything! I said this before, I think the entertainment world was waiting for Sam to play Jamie, hence nothing seemed right before.

      Tobias is wicked talented and the scenes with Caitriona, both bloody brilliant!

      Mom is doing better, we have to make some doctor appointments as I said before! Thanks for inquiring!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Redhead says:

    The acting in this episode blew me away. PHENOMENAL! Especially Tobias…just WOW. Even though I know he can only bring more evil and pain into the story, I am fascinated at the future portrayal of BJR. Chilling. For some reason I also loved how he stepped barely outside the room and kicked his boots and smacked his jacket to get rid of the dust and “save” the claret. Maybe bc that was before he revealed his truly dark nature to the audience.
    You wrote about the scene btwn Claire/BJR beautifully, and there’s not much else I can say about that. Loved how Dougal busted in there with a commanding presence to save Claire. Would have liked to see a scene later with her thanking him for that…maybe next week?
    I was giddy watching the conversation btwn Claire and Jamie about getting married, and his lack of “experience.” Her face when she heard that was priceless. Seemed like she almost wanted to laugh or say something but I’m glad she didn’t! Poor Jamie already seemed embarrassed about it.
    Thanks for writing what Jamie said to BJR at the flogging. I couldn’t figure it out despite many rewinds! And thanks for highlighting Lt Cutie Pie– he caught my eye as well! Hope to see him pop up in the future in other projects. Glad to hear your mom is doing better!


    • Nymerias says:

      Thank you so much for the wonderful comments. I had major writers block for days, I could not get my thoughts together for the life of me. It will probably happen again after The Wedding because I will be in awe of it.

      We are in for some more Blackjackness. *Shudders* Tobias is brilliant!

      I will campaign for Lt. Cutie for LGR, I think he could nail it! If Tom can play off Graham and Tobias that well, think how he and Sam could play off each other? Like the powers that be at casting are going to listen to lil old me lol

      Mom is doing better thanks! 🙂


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